I have waited until now to post because I have had so many different emotions running through my head. I personally had the absolute worst day since February. For whatever reason I do not know. It could be the heat, could be that I did too much climbing that mountain last week or maybe I was just not prepared. I hate to think the latter was true. I felt prepared, I had done 22 miles, I slept good the night before and I was not nervouse at all. I did pretty good until about mile 10 and then I progressively got worse. Actually when I found out the race had been called, I must admit, I was somewhat releived, only because I was struggling. I was not until I returned home that I got mad, angry and today I totally fell apart. I have worked so hard for 9 months and had a goal. I was on track for that goal and now I have not accomplished it. The goal was to finish 26.2 not to attempt and not finish. I have read many blogs and just sat and cried today. I feel ashamed that I didn't get it done. I know it was not my fault that I didn't finish, but I can't help but wonder even if I would have been able to finish. I have strong feelings of wanting to get this Marathon done and am planning to do Dec 1 - Memphis. But at the same time, I think do I really Need to do that. I have never had any intentions of doing more that one marathon, thought I would do Chicago and then maybe some half-marathons. But then I look at the medal that I didn't earn and I think I really want to go conquer Chicago.... that is what I started out as my goal. The Marathon Makeover experience was so wonderful, I met so many wonderful people and Mark, Robin, Matt, Scotty, our personal PT and our personal videographer were great. I got up off the couch and have established new habits, for that I am grateful. I am just really down in a rut of confusion right now. Chicago was wonderful and we had so much fun.
One last thing about the Marathon. My husband has been an absolute wonderful supporter. He has constantly encouraged me, always putting out little notes for me on Saturday mornings before our early hour runs. He had signs for me in Chicago and stayed up late planning a route so he could see me through the course. He was there at the start, at 3, 8, 12 and was going to be there several more times. When I got back to the room he had a trophy for me, personalized with my verse (which he picked and didn't realize that I had also chosen it) Thank you Bob, I love you.
Ann
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9 comments:
Don't lose heart, Ann. You trained, you followed through, you made it to Chicago, and you gave 100 percent effort. You earned your medal, and have been earning it since February.
Ann,I understand how you feel. I lost it on Monday night after seeing Steve Romano choke up on 5 o'clock news. I then realized how cheated we all felt. I believe you would have made it...I do. You would have found the strength and the determination but you were not allowed that due to cancellation. I have not blogged because I am still in a state of confusion about what to do next. My original plan was to do 5K and 10k races after Chicago...now I am leaning toward the MS Blues half marathon and Chicago 2008. I am conflicted about giving up those Saturdays again when it gets to the long distances. I know you will do a marathon somewhere, sometime. The trophy Bob gave to you was the absolute sweeetest thing I have heard...you have great support from your family. I think it would be even more meaningful/emotional to cross that finish line in Chicago next year. Cheryl
Bob is my hero! You deserved that trophy AND that medal! You would've finished because you were ready!
It's so heart-warming to see that kind of support from your husband. I know you will complete the goal to set out to meet. You are a marathoner!
Sheila
I am with Cheryl. I think I will do the 1/2 in January and tackle Chicago again next October. It really was fun and next year I will be much more mentally prepared - we may even make a vacation out of it and stay a week to see the sights and shows.
Let's give ourselves a couple of weeks to get over this, keep training and if you still want to do Memphis I may do it with you. Right now, I can't think about 26.2.
Jana
I'm right there with Cheryl also. I am leaning toward doing the half in Memphis, the half in Jackson, and then decide about Chi-2008. It was great having dinner with Bob and getting to know him.
Okay, y'all, the tears are streaming now! I was up until 2:30 am from a public hearing that started at 6:30pm the day before on a stupid building, but can't stop reading these blogs... Ann, you are awesome, and like the t-shirt says, "Chicago quit the marathon before I did" Ditto on what Cheryl said, too, and Bob is my hero.. You earned that medal, it is Chicago's marathon committee who did not deserve to hand it out.
I agree with everyone. We are all emotionally devastated. This is tragic and I think many of us are still in shock. I am still mad, haven't cried yet but that is coming soon. We did great, we really did great. I was not having a good run either but dang, the conditions were brutal. So, I didn't do what I set out to do, not my fault. But the good parts were really good and that is what will entice me to try again. Take some time to recover from this ordeal. We all need to process it and then make decisions. I love you Ann. You are an amazing girl and I'm so glad we got to be friends. And your husband was a sight for sore eyes on the curb. What a guy!!!!
Wow... how neat. What a true blessing to have such support!
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